LOVE

Is This Love or Emotional Dependency?

Is This Love or Emotional Dependency?


One of my clients, whose ex-girlfriend recently broke up with him, asked me the following question:

“I think I still love her, but is this love or just emotional dependency? Many times I ask myself if falling in love comes from the wounded self because (for me at least) it feels as if I can’t live without the other person. When I give love from the heart I don’t expect anything back, but when I fall in love I think this is a different energy.”

Falling in love can come from two different inner states. When you fall in love from the wounded self – the ego self – you are in love with how the other person loves you. You are handing over to the other person the responsibility for your self-worth and wellbeing, and if he or she does a good job of attending to you in the way you want to be attended to, then you may say you are “in love.” However, it is not so much the person you love, but how he or she loves you. When it feels as if you can’t live without the other person, it is emotional dependency. The part of you that is “in love” is really a child or adolescent who is needy for love because you are not giving love to yourself or to others. There is an emptiness inside that you expect someone else to fill, because you are not taking responsibility for your own feelings of self-worth. You are attaching your worth to another’s love, which is why you can’t live without that person.

When you fall in love as a loving adult instead of as a wounded, needy child or adolescent, your need for the relationship is totally different. As a loving adult, you have learned how to fill yourself with love and define your own worth. Instead of needing someone to fill you and make you feel lovable and worthy, you already feel worthy and full of love. You experience this inner fullness because you have learned how to take full responsibility for your own feelings and needs, and you have learned to fill yourself with love from a Divine Source. This fullness overflows and you want to share this love with another person, another loving adult who is also filled with love. Your desire is to share love rather than to get love.

The kind of person you will pick will be totally different when a loving adult is choosing than when your wounded self is choosing. The people we pick have a similar level of woundedness and a similar level of emotional health. Obviously, the more you have done your inner work to connect with Divine Love and bring that love within to take loving care of yourself, the more you will be attracted to someone also does this.

When you pick from your wounded self, you will pick someone whom you believe wants the job of filling you up. The problem is that the other person may be attempting to fill you up in the hopes that you will also fill up him or her. Two people who each want to get love rather than share love will eventually find themselves very disappointed with each other. They will each blame the other for not loving them in the way they want to be loved. When relationships break up, it is often because one or both partners are not taking responsibility for their own feelings and self-worth and are blaming the other for their resulting unhappiness.

If you are so attached to someone that you feel you can’t live without that person, try learning to give to yourself and others what it is you want from this person. Your job is to become the person to yourself that you want the other person to be. Then you will be able to be “in love” rather than “in need.” You will be able to love another person for who he or she is rather than for what this person can do for you. Instead of needing to get love, you can give love from the heart for the joy of it and feel filled in the giving.

LOVE

Am I In Love? (Questions of the Heart)

Am I In Love? (Questions of the Heart)

Drag Show 2017, Chico State
Source: Flickr

Do you feel your brains turn to mush as soon as cupids arrow spears your heart?
Did your heart ever become your goal?
Did he become your world?
Do you feel the need to control him?
Do you want to be his everything?
Did you ever change your entire world to be with him?
Did he, for you?
Do you want his eyes to be only on you?
Do you feel like you can never say anything right?
Do you try to share your thoughts with him, only to alienate him?
Do you tear your hair out every time he looks at you like you are an alien?
Do you wish today was as sweet as the first day that you laid your eyes on him?
Do you wish you had never heard any stories about his past?
Do you wish he never heard yours?
Do you expect him to read your mind?
Do you think you can read his mind?
Do you worry about things that he cannot even comprehend?
Do you imagine his answers, when he gives you none?
Do you constantly question his feelings for you?
Do you question his every decision?
Do you feel like a wallflower?
Do you wish he would not interpret your needs for weakness?
Did you grow up believing love would be safe and non confronting?
Do you like the feeling of mistrust?
Does he?
Do you feel that you are the only one in this relationship?
Did you ever think that you would feel so torn apart when you argued with someone?
Did you think that you could be so hateful with someone you love so much?
Did you ever look just at someone and just feel total unconditional love for them?
Did you think that he too would feel incompetent during sex?
Do you know that he too suffers when you look upon him with disappointment?
Does he try to reach out to you in his time of need for affection and understanding?
Do you turn away from him, hoping that he will turn to you?
Do you feel like hiding from his eyes when you feel threatened by another female?
Does he understand you at that time?
Does he support you when you feel weak and failing?
Do you support him?
Do you allow him inside your head when all you want to do is die?
Do you come home and ask him how his day was?
Do you reach for him in the quiet of the night?
Does he reach out for you?
Does he make you feel sexy with just one look?
Do you crave his touch?
Does he kiss you passionately?
Do you kiss him back?
Do you love him with all your heart and soul?
Would you die for him?
Would he die for you?
HMMMMMM!
I know that I have definitely reached each one of you reading, with at least one of these thought provoking questions. Did you ever think such a small sweet word like LOVE could be so full of emotions and feelings? Love has so many meanings:
Love means trust, even when all the cards are against you.
Love means understand at all costs.
Love means accept all without question.
Love means allowing a stranger into your heart.
Love means smiling when anyone else would frown.
Love means hugging when he cries.
Love means being silent when silence is needed.
Love means putting his feelings first.
Love means being fair.
Love means expecting fairness.
Love means commitment.
Love means fitting together.
Love means laughter.
Love means partnership.
Love means being independent.
Love means forgiveness.
Love means patience.
Love means pain.
Love means sacrifice.
Love means supporting.
Love means feeling complete.
Love means never going to bed mad.
Love means GIFT.
If you have the gift of love, cherish it, nurture it, and treat it with respect.
Never push it away, or hurt it. Never, ever abuse it, or treat it like a door mat. Embrace it.
To have the gift of love is truly an inner beauty feeling. People say they love, but truly they have no clue what love is. Love can be just as painful as it can be beautiful. It can turn on you in a heartbeat. It can become your worst enemy. It can twist your world and turn it upside down, leaving you feeling alone and empty. Love is a very powerful gift. It is when one finds true love that all of the feelings, good and bad come together. That is when they are organized and compromised to make two people into one. It is when we are one that we join forces against the world and battle together. Sometimes it feels easier to go it alone, but it is the word, “alone” that really scares me. I would rather risk it all with someone, then to be alone. To say yes to the questions above tells you that you have risked it and are in love!
******************************************
“I believe that we are here for each other, not against each other. Everything comes from an understanding that you are a gift in my life – whoever you are, whatever our differences. ” – John Denver

Nutrition

Looking To Learn About Nutrition? Read This Piece

You have made the choice to work towards a healthier diet.There is no need to fear; you are nutrition tips here. You can use the advice provided here to get yourself organized with a healthy meal plan.

Replace white flour items with whole-grain options. Whole wheat and grains have more fiber and protein than refined white alternatives. Whole grains satisfy your appetite for a longer period of time and also improve cholesterol low. You want to see the word “whole” on the packaging.

Many people do not consume enough protein, and it is an essential part of a healthy diet. The best form of protein is lean, red meat, like steak. Chicken and pork are also good sources. Protein helps you to feel full and supports muscle growth, which makes it very important to your diet.

TIP! Getting the proper nutrition is essential for a properly functioning body. Taking a multivitamin can ensure that your body is getting the right amount of vitamins.

You should attempt to vary your protein from sources other than meat. Many more protein sources of meatless proteins are edible exist. You can find plenty of protein in fish, nuts, tofu, fish or even tofu. Most of these foods can function as a main course or be used as additives for some other food. Eat more than one type of protein so that you don’t get bored with your diet.

The stealthy way to eat better eating is to sneak healthy foods into your regular foods. This works particularly well if you or your children are picky eaters or dislike fruits and vegetables. This can help everyone eat better without even knowing the difference.

Enjoy a rainbow colored selection of foods every day. Bright colored foods will give you a lot of nutrition. Make sure that you always include a selection of fruits or vegetables on your plate. The skins are rich in antioxidant benefits, so if they are edible, be sure to eat the skins as well.

TIP! Try and cut out as much salt from your diet as possible. Fast foods, like most junk foods, are very salty.

Try packing your own work or school.It only takes about ten minutes or so to get a few meals prepared.

Trans Fat

Almonds are the best nuts for cooking. Out of the entire family of nuts, these contain the most nutrients, help regulate cholesterol, add valuable protein and keep the blood healthy. Almonds are also one of the most accessible nuts.

TIP! When going shopping for groceries, allow your kids to assist you in picking foods. By letting children pick out the fruits and veggies they want, they are more likely to actually eat them.

Foods with trans fat should be avoided.Foods that contain high trans fat are responsible for putting you at risk of heart disease. Trans fats makes the amount of unhealthy cholesterol and lower good cholesterol.

Almonds are the absolute best choice when it comes to cooking with nuts. These are the healthiest among other nuts because of their ability to lower cholesterol, raise protein levels, and help you keep a healthy blood cell count. They also cheaper than many other varieties.

If motion sickness is often a problem, ginger may be what you need. Ginger conveniently comes in easy to swallow capsules. About 60 minutes before taking off, take a pill with approximately 1,000 milligrams. Then do it again, every three hours. Ginger can relieve nausea and prevent stomach upset during travel. Ginger candy and tea could also be of help.

TIP! Most foods that are cooked in a microwave are just not healthy. Most pre-packaged foods, like those that go in the microwave, contain preservatives, which halt weight loss.

A single stalk of broccolo contains an entire day’s worth of Vitamin K/ It contains enough vitamin C levels that are around two days’ allotment. These nutrients will help you build strong bones and could reduce the risks of some cancers. To help protect the nutrients in your broccoli, steam your broccoli instead of boiling it or using the microwave.

You will find zinc in strawberries, peaches, strawberries and pumpkin seeds.

Eating right is probably the most important factor in how you look and feel. Cutting out as much refined sugar as possible is among the most important things that you can do to enhance your diet. Take care not drink too much soda, fruit juice, and other sweet beverages. The sugar in these drinks will interfere with good nutrition. When you steer clear of sugar you will be able see a change. This tip can help to improve your overall health, and how you feel.

TIP! Try eating canned salmon. It is full of vitamins and minerals your body needs and is low fat.

Diabetics have lots of challenging needs regarding their nutrition. Eating well and regularly can help keep blood sucrose levels within comfort. They must consume a lot of vegetables and fresh fruits, products with whole grain and products from dairy with reduced fat. They must eat around the same time each day.

You want to eat as often as possible when wanting to improve your health and lose weight.

Vegetables are important, low-calorie food choices, whether fresh, frozen or even canned. Veggies have vitamins and minerals that have you healthy and feeling satisfied longer. Try to eat more servings of veggies than you normally do.

TIP! Planning can keep you prepared and not going out and eating something unhealthy. Having lots of healthy meal choices prevents you from becoming bored and reaching for something unhealthy.

This delicious grain has 14 percent protein by weight. You can use Quinoa in just about anything too.

Grill kabobs for a fun dinner.Kids love this because they can pick what meat and veggies that will go on their kabobs. Make it colorful so that they will eat more veggies.

Iron is an important nutrient for pregnant women. An normal woman should get about 18 milligrams of iron daily when not pregnant and 27 milligrams a day when she is. Babies will need a lot of this nutrient to develop properly.

TIP! By skipping breakfast, you will feel hungry and less energetic all day. Many believe that calorie consumption can be lowered by skipping breakfast.

A salad is about more than iceberg lettuce and creamy dressing. You can put anything from meats and nuts to dried fruits. You can really add some variety to your salads with homemade salad ideas fresh.

Do not have too many cheat days!

Assuming that you are eating healthy does not necessarily mean you are. Seven-grain bread does not actually have whole-grains in it, so it is not as healthy as it sounds. Don’t rely on the marketing materials on the package. Check the actual ingredient list for nutritional information.

TIP! Broccoli is a food that is great for you. It has properties that are known to prevent cancer and it has plenty of other important vitamins and minerals.

Try foods from different ocuntries around the world. You may become bored if you eat the same foods because it can taste boring; so change it up and look at the time.

When you are planning your foods for meals and snacks, it is important to have the right ratio of the main nutritional components. Try to have 30% fat, with a little bit of fat too.

When you are thirsty, avoid drinking soda. One of the first ingredients in soda is usually corn syrup, which is one of the worst types of sugar for your body. Citric acid is found in many sodas, and has been known to rot teeth. Also, bacteria forms on you teeth from the soda’s sugar.

TIP! Get a protein boost and cut back on your meat consumption by incorporating a wide variety of beans and legumes into your diet. Black beans can be used in a variety of dishes, including Cuban dishes and tacos.

French Fries

Try to maximize the “good” kind of fats that you consume each day. Fats from French fries, onion rings and french fries are not healthy fats. You should avoid these.

Eating a balanced diet also means balancing uncooked and cooked foods. The raw foods you eat should equal at least a third of your total food consumption. That way you can know that you are getting full nutrition from these foods, instead of having vitamins and minerals “cook out”. Fruits and vegetables are the way to go.

TIP! Whenever you are trying to decide the foods you should consume that will lead to better nutrition, keep in mind raw foods are almost always a lot better for you than cooked and/or processed food. This is due to the fact that most foods can loose a lot of nutrients when they are cooked.

Drinking sufficient amounts of water during the day is an excellent way for you to maintain nutritional fitness.Try to drink a minimum of eight cups of water every single day.

Get the help of a friend for your health goals.

A useful nutrition tip for everyone is to consume a healthy diet rich in the proper amounts of healthy fats, proteins and carbs. Make it a goal to allot 20% of your caloric intake to fats, about 30% to proteins, and the remaining 50% can go to carbohydrates. Take care to ensure your carbohydrates are not sugary.

TIP! People tend to ignore their alcohol consumption when they think about nutrition. They try to be healthy all week long and then they get to the weekend and ruin quite a bit of their efforts.

Foods like bananas, oatmeal, brown rice, baked potatoes and bananas. These foods are also rich in fibers and will help you to feel full for long periods of time. Eating junk food can leave you a sugar high and a crash. Avoid junk food and eat healthily for a healthy way; your body is going to appreciate it.

Ground Turkey

Huge amounts of people are crazy about coupons. On the show “Extreme Couponing,” people are paying basically nothing for cartfuls of groceries. Though, you never see these people filling their carts with fresh fruits and vegetables. Coupons are usually offered for packaged, high-fat foods and snacks.

TIP! To reward you children give them positive attention and not food. Give your kid a big smile, some hugs and kisses and lots of encouragement; not a pile of ice cream.

Be careful when you decide to use ground turkey instead of ground beef for recipes to lower fat and calories in your meal. Ground turkey is available in varying fat percentages, just like ground beef, you may not save calories.

Now that you have read these nutritional tips, you probably feel better. There is plenty of information there; use it and try to improve your diet. Do not forget about these tips when you are bettering your life.

Limit the amount of canned foods that you eat. Most of the canned meats, soups and meals are high in sodium content. High blood pressure and heart disease are two risk factors associated with too much sodium, so look over the packaging labels of all processed and canned foods. Lots of processed meats are infused with salt as a way to keep them fresher longer, but this can greatly increase the amount of sodium you ingest.

TIP!

LOVE

Dating, how to WIN love

Dating – How to WIN Love

Love will build your heart with its dreamy songs and create a magical world for you to live in. How will you ensure that they whom you love so much will love you? How will you be certain of winning love?

Undertake this visual. Enjoy this constant pleasure that it will bring you. And feel for yourself how wonderful your love life has become.

You are in love with someone. You want that someone to love you too. What do you do? Simple! Visualize! Remember, love has everything to do with your heart and mind. If you can keep your heart healthy and in good relation with you, then you can have all the love you want.

Picture your heart. You may visualize it like am actual biological heart, or it may even be a symbolic valentine heart.

Go ahead and ask your heart about how it is feeling today. Is it feeling sad? Lonely? Disappointed? Understand the way it is feeling. Hear what it has to say to you. Then tell your heart that you are trying to make it feel better.

What is the condition of your heart? Is it sad? Or is it youthful. Does it look healthy? Or is it torn or wounded? Is it wounded? Now repair your heart. You have all the tools required. If it is torn at places, stitch them. If it is wounded, then treat it’s wound.

When your heart looks healthy, fill it to the brim with light. Imagine the shining light flow into your heart and reach it’s every nook and corner. Your heart is not only healthy now it even feels alive. Listen to your heartbeats?

Make it feel good. Thank your heart for keeping you alive. Applaud its tireless performance. The more you thank your heart, the healthier it gets.

Now that your heart is healthy and happy, you are now ready to win love. Picture the person you love or whom you desire the most. See the person clearly? How does she/he look? What color is the hair? What kind of clothes he/she is wearing? How tall is the person? Is there any gesture that is distinctively his/hers?

Let the person appear in front of you. How far is the person? Bring him/her closer to at the most five feet away from you. Now, picture your healthy heart connected to his/her heart. You may use any material you like for connection. A rope, chain, satin ribbon – it can be just anything. It can be even imaginary. The goal is to connect love to love, so a sense of energy flows between you both.

Once you have connected love, visualize yourself doing something loving to the person you love. Do anything that people who love each other does. Walk hand in hand, go for a dance, sit across for some ice cream, love each other, hug each other – you may even kiss each other.

The more you visualize the person you love in the way described above, the stronger the love flows between you both. Until one day, you really embrace and kiss the person to say how much you love her/him.

And if ever you feel that love is beginning to fade, go through the visualization again.

Let LOVE live forever.

LOVE

Dating – How to WIN Love

Dating – How to WIN Love

Here's My Impression of My Human
Source: Flickr

Love will build your heart with its dreamy songs and create a magical world for you to live in. How will you ensure that they whom you love so much will love you? How will you be certain of winning love?

Undertake this visual. Enjoy this constant pleasure that it will bring you. And feel for yourself how wonderful your love life has become.

You are in love with someone. You want that someone to love you too. What do you do? Simple! Visualize! Remember, love has everything to do with your heart and mind. If you can keep your heart healthy and in good relation with you, then you can have all the love you want.

Picture your heart. You may visualize it like am actual biological heart, or it may even be a symbolic valentine heart.

Go ahead and ask your heart about how it is feeling today. Is it feeling sad? Lonely? Disappointed? Understand the way it is feeling. Hear what it has to say to you. Then tell your heart that you are trying to make it feel better.

What is the condition of your heart? Is it sad? Or is it youthful. Does it look healthy? Or is it torn or wounded? Is it wounded? Now repair your heart. You have all the tools required. If it is torn at places, stitch them. If it is wounded, then treat it’s wound.

When your heart looks healthy, fill it to the brim with light. Imagine the shining light flow into your heart and reach it’s every nook and corner. Your heart is not only healthy now it even feels alive. Listen to your heartbeats?

Make it feel good. Thank your heart for keeping you alive. Applaud its tireless performance. The more you thank your heart, the healthier it gets.

Now that your heart is healthy and happy, you are now ready to win love. Picture the person you love or whom you desire the most. See the person clearly? How does she/he look? What color is the hair? What kind of clothes he/she is wearing? How tall is the person? Is there any gesture that is distinctively his/hers?

Let the person appear in front of you. How far is the person? Bring him/her closer to at the most five feet away from you. Now, picture your healthy heart connected to his/her heart. You may use any material you like for connection. A rope, chain, satin ribbon – it can be just anything. It can be even imaginary. The goal is to connect love to love, so a sense of energy flows between you both.

Once you have connected love, visualize yourself doing something loving to the person you love. Do anything that people who love each other does. Walk hand in hand, go for a dance, sit across for some ice cream, love each other, hug each other – you may even kiss each other.

The more you visualize the person you love in the way described above, the stronger the love flows between you both. Until one day, you really embrace and kiss the person to say how much you love her/him.

And if ever you feel that love is beginning to fade, go through the visualization again.

Let LOVE live forever.